Here's a quick list of things I witnessed/observed/contempated while winding my way back to the Land of Cheese:
Hmmmm..the innerstate* DOES go back north. Take the hint, you former-yankees-I-moved-down-here-for-warmer-weather-but-bitch-about-the-way-every-damn-thing-is- done-by-Southerners!
There is and will eternally be construction on I-40.
My SUV averaged 24 MPG on the innerstate**.
Despite yelling obsenities out of the window while driving through Knoxville, theformer UWM bball coach is unlikely to hear what I think of him.
Albany, KY is the best place (OK, only place) I've ever seen a demolition derby.
Albany,KY is probably the place that fulfills all of your redneck, cross-breeding nightmares. Think I met both families that live in that county. KnowwhatImean, Vern?
I have now been*** to the Bob Evans off I-65 in Layfette, IN 5 times.
A 55MPH speed limit really means go 70MPH or die around Chicagoland.
The "Taste of Chicago" festival is really great. Go if you can.
I take great pride in running on cruise control as much as I can. Especially when I end up trapping and/or passing some fu+k@r who had been riding mya$$ since Gary, IN.
US-41 from Chicago to Milwaukee has no tolls and cheaper gas.
I didn't meet Hank Azaria at the Italian Village this time while in Chicago.
If you sing in the car too much, you'll get hoarse.
Taking the hot water heater off of "vacation" mode really punctuates this fact.
Roundtrip was 1857 miles...not including side trips to Athens and Lake Keowee,SC. Now one week of prep, then summer class and our li'l ol' chamber music camp. Myself and the LYW head to SC the first week of August. Let's enjoy it while we can kids. Go Brew Crew!
* Yes, I know it's misspelled...done for a dialect effect.
** I didn't realize this one was misspelled.
*** "been to" is defined as "to dine and/or to pee"
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Smuggler's blues
I've got contraband. I'm heading across state lines. I'm your hook-up if need-be.
Today, I spent my last full day on this trip to SC gathering up some edible culture to carry back up north:
Maurice Bessinger's barbecue sauce. The yellow stuff. Please, PLEASE at some point try the tangy, sweet decadent taste of authentic South carolina mustard-based barbecue. www.mauricesbbq.com
Diet Cheerwine. All of the flavor, none of the carbs. You can't get it in Wisconsin. Cheerwine makes a great float with vanilla ice cream.
Raw peanuts. 5 lbs worth. You can't get raw (our people call them "green") peanuts up there. Obviously, these are for boiling in a salt-heavy brine, and consuming in mass quantities underneath the carport.
I tried to get a bushel of peaches, but it's early in the season, and myself and the lovely young woman will be briefly visiting the Palmetto State in early August. Prime peach time. By the way, Georgia is NOT the peach state....SC is the best!
Yellow BBQ, boiled peanuts, beer, and cheese...sounds like a pretty decent cross-cultural smorgasboard to me.
Today, I spent my last full day on this trip to SC gathering up some edible culture to carry back up north:
Maurice Bessinger's barbecue sauce. The yellow stuff. Please, PLEASE at some point try the tangy, sweet decadent taste of authentic South carolina mustard-based barbecue. www.mauricesbbq.com
Diet Cheerwine. All of the flavor, none of the carbs. You can't get it in Wisconsin. Cheerwine makes a great float with vanilla ice cream.
Raw peanuts. 5 lbs worth. You can't get raw (our people call them "green") peanuts up there. Obviously, these are for boiling in a salt-heavy brine, and consuming in mass quantities underneath the carport.
I tried to get a bushel of peaches, but it's early in the season, and myself and the lovely young woman will be briefly visiting the Palmetto State in early August. Prime peach time. By the way, Georgia is NOT the peach state....SC is the best!
Yellow BBQ, boiled peanuts, beer, and cheese...sounds like a pretty decent cross-cultural smorgasboard to me.
Friday, June 17, 2005
OK, OK, I'm up!
Had a 4am need to visit the latrine (don't drink coffee before bed, kids). Then the creeping into the brain of issues, items, concerns, desires, anticipations (if that can even be a multiple noun?), and other general STUFF.
Don't you hate it when you WANT to sleep, you CAN sleep (meaning you've got a comfortable place and plenty of time), but your mind just won't shut the F*Ck up?
What keeps you up?
What do you do?
I'm glad I have blog-reading to catch up on. Thanks for your collective perspective. Y'all are great company this morning!
Don't you hate it when you WANT to sleep, you CAN sleep (meaning you've got a comfortable place and plenty of time), but your mind just won't shut the F*Ck up?
What keeps you up?
What do you do?
I'm glad I have blog-reading to catch up on. Thanks for your collective perspective. Y'all are great company this morning!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Good ol' Protestant guilt
Knight's right. You can go home again. But take my advice. Don't make it too long.
Each summer I make a marathon drive from Cheeseland to Red Bank for a long stay with Mom and Dad. This is a wonderful benefit of the academic schedule, especially in the haughty-taughty world of post-secondary insitutions. I make this time because I (being an only child) am particularly close to my parents and extended family, and I see the month-long break as an opportunity to catch up with them, and a few other special friends in the region. There are weekend excursions to shore and hill, to a fish fry and Sunday supper, and then just time to be alone. Alone and still in a place that moves a little quicker than it used to, but still, nonetheless.
Contemplation?.....check. Deep thought about relationships?....check. Reevaluating "the plan?".....check.
I've gotten a lot done this vacation. Now what? Um.... ah-hem.... err... I'm in my house, in my home state, taking in the glow of hearth, home, and doing absolutely nothing. I don't think that I've actually recovered from the usual 11 month pace that I've set for myself. I find myself even trying to "git 'er dun" in leisure/family activities. My left brain is screaming, "You've done everything you've wanted to do on vacation...so let's GOOOOOOOO!!!!....get on with it, already!"
And on top of that (without sounding too high-and-mighty), I'm bored at staying at Chez Cor-ley. Good parents always want more and better for their kids; mine sure did. I know that I've been far more educated than they, and as a result have different and deeper thoughts on most things that occupy my mind. When deep conversation erodes to, "Man, Chipper better get better in a hurry," or "I don't care which flavor of ice cream you get, Mom, " I feel guilty.
The rosy, let's-wrap-this-up way to see it is: I've gotten a chance to spend a significant amount of time (regardless of quality) with people that I care the most for, and an oppotunity to return to a more relaxed pace, without all that....huh, critical thinking!
But I can't help thinking, "Is simply talking about things at face value a real connection...and I am really trying hard enough?" What to do when you see yourself growing apart from the people you really love the most?
Each summer I make a marathon drive from Cheeseland to Red Bank for a long stay with Mom and Dad. This is a wonderful benefit of the academic schedule, especially in the haughty-taughty world of post-secondary insitutions. I make this time because I (being an only child) am particularly close to my parents and extended family, and I see the month-long break as an opportunity to catch up with them, and a few other special friends in the region. There are weekend excursions to shore and hill, to a fish fry and Sunday supper, and then just time to be alone. Alone and still in a place that moves a little quicker than it used to, but still, nonetheless.
Contemplation?.....check. Deep thought about relationships?....check. Reevaluating "the plan?".....check.
I've gotten a lot done this vacation. Now what? Um.... ah-hem.... err... I'm in my house, in my home state, taking in the glow of hearth, home, and doing absolutely nothing. I don't think that I've actually recovered from the usual 11 month pace that I've set for myself. I find myself even trying to "git 'er dun" in leisure/family activities. My left brain is screaming, "You've done everything you've wanted to do on vacation...so let's GOOOOOOOO!!!!....get on with it, already!"
And on top of that (without sounding too high-and-mighty), I'm bored at staying at Chez Cor-ley. Good parents always want more and better for their kids; mine sure did. I know that I've been far more educated than they, and as a result have different and deeper thoughts on most things that occupy my mind. When deep conversation erodes to, "Man, Chipper better get better in a hurry," or "I don't care which flavor of ice cream you get, Mom, " I feel guilty.
The rosy, let's-wrap-this-up way to see it is: I've gotten a chance to spend a significant amount of time (regardless of quality) with people that I care the most for, and an oppotunity to return to a more relaxed pace, without all that....huh, critical thinking!
But I can't help thinking, "Is simply talking about things at face value a real connection...and I am really trying hard enough?" What to do when you see yourself growing apart from the people you really love the most?
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Roast talk
A transcript (or something close to what I said) at the BDB Roast follows. Enjoy.
(Musical intro. A track in really poor taste. I mean, come on, you bi+che$!)
Good evenin' everybody. I brought along some props, and well, I wrote this all down...em, as our friend here is prone to say, "Y'all listen to this. I'm pretty proud of the hook, but I think the verse could use some work." (hold for laughter)
My remarks tonight aren't really in the traditional roast fashion. Instead, I'd like to share with you some insights into what I've been able to glean from Brett just by being around him.
During my time in Athens, I learned alot. But one of the most significant outcomes for me: personally, professionally, and indeed spirtually, can be traced back to one night in 2001. It was in this particular moment when I was in deep conversation, thought, and research...along with a certain amount of Jack Daniels'....(hold for laughs, hoots, etc.)....with both Brett and Michael Knight. The precious product of this period of intensity would become not only a legitimate pasttime, but dare I say....(pause)..a NEIGHBORHOOD-WIDE phenomenon! (hold for laughter). Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am referring to the sporting sensation known as Phase 5 (show chart, side A).
Now, while Mike and I contributed significantly to the technical aspects of the activity, I feel that Brett firmly had control of and understood the deeper, more philisophical nature of Phase 5. And it is with apologies to Barry Green, I give you this motivational lecture I call, "The Inner Game of Phase 5." (moderate laughs, chuckles)
Because a number of you are Phase 5 virgins, I'll begin by explaining the rules of play, and then expand on a particular life's lesson that we may be able to pull from truly understanding Phase 5 when distilled down to it's pure essence. It is through contact with our guest of honor here, and trying to understand him, that I now pass these thoughts along to you.
Phase 1: Just get the ball through the door. (demonstrate with chart) Does the message get more clear than this? Have a simple goal. Don't try to do too much at one time. Have a vision and see it through.
Phase 2: Bounce the ball once, and then in through the door. (demonstrate with chart) This phase may be trying to tell us, "Discover the resources around you and use them!" Indeed, a bounce or an adjustment along life's way may actually help to propel us through that doorway of life. And hey, having another technique in your personal/spiritual bag-of-tricks just might come in handy some day.
Phase 3: Bounce the ball once on the near concrete, once on the far concrete, and then through the door. (demonstrate with chart) Stay the course. Stay the course, though many obsticles may come up to "bite you in the a$$." Keep you eyes on the prize and don't let anything get in your way.
Phase 4: Bounce the ball on the "Welcome" mat just outside the door, and get it through the door. (demonstrate with chart) This can be tricky. Take into account the conditions. Sometime the mat may be wet, and cause the ball to lose a lot of speed. Othertimes, it may be dry, and fast as the greens in Augusta. Take this lesson: utilize or "welcome" any input you may find in assessing the conditions surrounding your goal. Help of others is also advisable.
Phase 5: By whatever means neccessary, knock over the Phase 5 Chalis which rests on the arm of the couch, sitting just inside the door of the apartment. (demonstrate with chart) When you've successed, take time to eXperience the joy of your success. Be exuberant, and enjoy the moment.
Much like our friend that we roast tonight, Phase 5 is interesting, deep, and means something special to everyone. Let's not take the lessons of Phase 5 lightly. Let's review them together, shall we?
(Turn chart to reveal Side B.)
"The Inner Game of Phase 5."
H-ave a simple goal.
D-iscover resources around you.
S-tay the course, no matter the obsticles.
U-tilize or "welcome" input from around you.
e-X-perience the feeling of success.
What wonderful and valuable truths we have revealed tonight through Phase 5! (laughter)
We love you and good luck, buddy. (applause)
(Musical intro. A track in really poor taste. I mean, come on, you bi+che$!)
Good evenin' everybody. I brought along some props, and well, I wrote this all down...em, as our friend here is prone to say, "Y'all listen to this. I'm pretty proud of the hook, but I think the verse could use some work." (hold for laughter)
My remarks tonight aren't really in the traditional roast fashion. Instead, I'd like to share with you some insights into what I've been able to glean from Brett just by being around him.
During my time in Athens, I learned alot. But one of the most significant outcomes for me: personally, professionally, and indeed spirtually, can be traced back to one night in 2001. It was in this particular moment when I was in deep conversation, thought, and research...along with a certain amount of Jack Daniels'....(hold for laughs, hoots, etc.)....with both Brett and Michael Knight. The precious product of this period of intensity would become not only a legitimate pasttime, but dare I say....(pause)..a NEIGHBORHOOD-WIDE phenomenon! (hold for laughter). Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am referring to the sporting sensation known as Phase 5 (show chart, side A).
Now, while Mike and I contributed significantly to the technical aspects of the activity, I feel that Brett firmly had control of and understood the deeper, more philisophical nature of Phase 5. And it is with apologies to Barry Green, I give you this motivational lecture I call, "The Inner Game of Phase 5." (moderate laughs, chuckles)
Because a number of you are Phase 5 virgins, I'll begin by explaining the rules of play, and then expand on a particular life's lesson that we may be able to pull from truly understanding Phase 5 when distilled down to it's pure essence. It is through contact with our guest of honor here, and trying to understand him, that I now pass these thoughts along to you.
Phase 1: Just get the ball through the door. (demonstrate with chart) Does the message get more clear than this? Have a simple goal. Don't try to do too much at one time. Have a vision and see it through.
Phase 2: Bounce the ball once, and then in through the door. (demonstrate with chart) This phase may be trying to tell us, "Discover the resources around you and use them!" Indeed, a bounce or an adjustment along life's way may actually help to propel us through that doorway of life. And hey, having another technique in your personal/spiritual bag-of-tricks just might come in handy some day.
Phase 3: Bounce the ball once on the near concrete, once on the far concrete, and then through the door. (demonstrate with chart) Stay the course. Stay the course, though many obsticles may come up to "bite you in the a$$." Keep you eyes on the prize and don't let anything get in your way.
Phase 4: Bounce the ball on the "Welcome" mat just outside the door, and get it through the door. (demonstrate with chart) This can be tricky. Take into account the conditions. Sometime the mat may be wet, and cause the ball to lose a lot of speed. Othertimes, it may be dry, and fast as the greens in Augusta. Take this lesson: utilize or "welcome" any input you may find in assessing the conditions surrounding your goal. Help of others is also advisable.
Phase 5: By whatever means neccessary, knock over the Phase 5 Chalis which rests on the arm of the couch, sitting just inside the door of the apartment. (demonstrate with chart) When you've successed, take time to eXperience the joy of your success. Be exuberant, and enjoy the moment.
Much like our friend that we roast tonight, Phase 5 is interesting, deep, and means something special to everyone. Let's not take the lessons of Phase 5 lightly. Let's review them together, shall we?
(Turn chart to reveal Side B.)
"The Inner Game of Phase 5."
H-ave a simple goal.
D-iscover resources around you.
S-tay the course, no matter the obsticles.
U-tilize or "welcome" input from around you.
e-X-perience the feeling of success.
What wonderful and valuable truths we have revealed tonight through Phase 5! (laughter)
We love you and good luck, buddy. (applause)
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